Historically, What Went Wrong With The Family

Jeremy here, another episode of Five Minute fatherhood. This one is where we tend to read a verse or go down a trajectory of a verse or a part of scripture and what that says about fathers. And the one today is going to answer the question historically what went wrong with the family. So Jeremy, I’d love to hear your answer to this and kind of the relation to that in Jeremiah.

Yeah. So you guys, obviously something did go really wrong. Today the statistics are something like 60% of children live some part of their childhood outside the home of their biological father. And it’s important to actually have a position on what you think happened to the family, because whatever you think happened is really going to dictate the way that you think about how to ensure this won’t happen to your family or how you talk to other dads and other families about this problem. So something just has gone wrong. It’s a complicated issue, there’s a lot to it. But the way we think about this, you guys, is that, it’s not that necessarily men are more selfish than ever, right? It’s not that… I mean, you look back in history and there are some really, really bad examples of fatherhood, bad examples of masculinity, but there has never been a time where the family has fallen apart like it has today.

So there’s a lot going on that’s new or different about what’s happening in the family. And I really think what’s happened is we actually have left an ancient path or there is a blueprint that God laid out for the family. And it just does not… the modern blueprint doesn’t resonate with dads. The ancient blueprint does, but most of us have never even heard of what that is. And we say that here, we call that the multi generational team on mission is the ancient blueprint. But the encouraging verse that I want you guys to think about is, and I love this in Jeremiah 6.16 this is what it says, this is what the Lord says, “Stand at the crossroads and look, ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it and you will find rest for your souls.”

This is a powerful reminder that if you are finding yourself on some path where it’s like, how did we get here? Like what went wrong? One of the basic things that you should consider is maybe we left an ancient path behind and maybe the solution to the problem that we’re facing is not in the future, but in the past, and I really think this is true about the family. There is an ancient blueprint for the family that we have decided culturally to leave and this happened before any of us were born. This is not something that’s happened in the last 20 or 30 years. This is something that’s happened probably more than the last 50, 60 years or maybe even a little bit further back.

And so because none of us remember what this ancient path was like, it’s very difficult for us to realize that that problem is an ancient path that we’ve left behind. And so a lot of what we’re doing in this whole Five Minute Fatherhood is just introducing you guys to lots of ancient ideas of fatherhood so that you guys can stand and look and look for that ancient path. And I love how this is really, also ends with this idea of rest, that there’s an anxiety that is created when you leave an ancient path that’s designed to do us good. And that’s really the dilemma that we’re facing. How do we find that ancient path?

Totally, and I love that. And one thing I’ll end with is this, because I think you said it all is remembering also to that extra layer of where Jeremiah’s text is coming from, Israel in exile. And to me it’s like when you’re in exile you need to find your way home. Exactly like what he said, you need to listen to that better story, you need to know where the good way is and walk in it. And I think not only was Israel in exile then, but then thinking now I think family is an exile. Family is lost, is broken, the Shalom is gone. There’s a crack in the curse of how family is operating and meant to operate in God’s vision and design. And we can walk in the good way and we can come out of exile back into the promised land, back into the new Jerusalem where family is under God’s design, under his reign, under his rule, and that’s the promise, and that’s the hope for you guys today.

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