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How to Win and Connect to the Heart of Your Parents

Jeff:
We’re going to talk about something today that a lot of people don’t talk about, and that’s actually how to win and connect to the heart of your parents. If you’re listening to this, you probably are parents. You’re adult, you’re in your 30s, 40, 50s, I’m not sure, 20s maybe. But how do you… One thing we don’t talk about or even think about a lot is, how do you connect and actually win the heart of your parents? We always think that’s downstream. But I think it’s both ways, right? Depending on which day the current is going.

Jeremy:
Yeah.

Jeff:
And I think that’s really, really important. Jeremy, what, how would you kind of talk about this and what this looks like?

Jeremy:
Yeah. If you guys want to build a multigenerational family, and you have parents that you really want to be a part of your life, your kids’ life, and that’s a part of your heart… Obviously there’s some situations where that may not be appropriate, but for many of you, this is a bridge you want to strengthen.

And if you do, there’s one really simple tip or tool that I want to hand you guys, that’s really helpful. That is to basically come up with one epic event that you can craft for your mom or your dad. Like, really think about an experience that they would love to have. It’s worth the investment, you guys.

It can be so much, it’s so much fun. It’s fun to spoil your parents. A lot of people don’t think about this, but I really think that it does something incredible in your own heart to spoil your parents.

And we live in a day and age, you guys, where many of us hold so much bitterness towards our parents. Because all the psychologists and counselors have rightly told us that our parents have screwed us up, and they have. And we’re screwing up our kids, okay? And we have very little grace for our parents. And so this, for a lot of people, is destroying those upstream relationships, the bitterness that they’re struggling with.

And so, I think forgiving your parents is always an incredibly difficult and important journey for all of us to go on, and our kids are going to have to do the same for us. But a piece of that journey that I think is so good and so healthy, that changes the whole trajectory, is when you sit down and actually craft an experience out of love for your mom or your dad.

And I think this will build a bridge. We just did a podcast a few podcasts ago, about how sometimes our parents say, “Hey, I raised you and you turned out great. Why are you trying all this new stuff on my grandkids?” And that often means that the bridge is just, it’s pretty fragile, right? You’re trying to win their heart, and it’s a process. Just like you’re trying to win your kids’ hearts, you want to win your parents’ hearts. I remember one of these I did with my dad. My dad’s a huge baseball fan. I took him to Fenway Park and it was an amazing experience.

Jeff:
That’s the best.

Jeremy:
A few weeks ago, I took my mom and dad to Topgolf because Jeff took me to the one in Denver-

Jeff:
Yes, it’s so good. Did they love it?

Jeremy:
We had so much fun, and their food was good, and he like sold it so well, and I loved it. And so I got home, and so I took my parents up there and we had an awesome evening.

Jeff:
Who won? Who won?

Jeremy:
Well, you know. I mean, we don’t talk about that. And my dad’s a lot better a golfer than I am, but I do think I beat him on one of those games, which is a miracle.

Jeff:
Awesome.

Jeremy:
I definitely lost to Jeff though, but-

Jeff:
No. That was split, one and one. You beat me by one point that first game.

Jeremy:
Oh, that’s right. Yeah. We got to go back after it.

Jeff:
Yeah.

Jeremy:
Anyway, so this is a big deal, guys, whatever your parents dream about, love… Is there some vacation that they, you know that they wish they would have done? Is there some experience, is there some crazy way that you could just bless them?

I really think this pleases the heart of the Lord, right? It says that in 1 Timothy 5, that when we do things that are amazing for our parents to honor them, it pleases the Lord’s heart. And by the way, there’s that benefit, that the 10 commandments speak of honoring your father and mother means you live longer.

And I… Because I don’t know, I think there’s actually a physiological thing that happens when you throw down that bitterness, and instead fill that space with actually trying to bless, and honor, and love your parents. But this is a really practical way to do that. I encourage you guys to give it a try. But yeah, Jeff, any thoughts on those?

Jeff:
No, yeah, that’s… I would just say everything you just said, that I think that’s just, it’s so important. And I just think, “Think about it.” I think a lot of people don’t even think about this direction. They don’t think about this trajectory with that question, but it’s deeply, deeply important.

And there’s something about honor, when you honor someone, they come alive. And if you… You want the top of the stream to come alive, because when they come alive, it trickles down for generations. And so it’s really, really important.

Jeremy:
Yeah.

Jeff:
And that’s what I would leave you guys with.

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