Jeff:
Today’s episode we want to start with a quote which you might be familiar with exactly where this quote comes from and it says, “This is my beloved son in whom I’m well pleased.” If you’re familiar with the scriptures, you know that is actually what God the father says over Jesus, the son during his baptism. You can find that a couple of different variations in the gospel accounts. And I think this is a really beautiful phrase and a really beautiful quote and Jeremy, I want to hear your thoughts in a second, but one thing that I want to make note of because I think I’m stoked to hear you talk about how this is actually what kids need when they do hard things, which is true.
I also think that we have to be realized that Jesus heard this before he did anything. And I think that’s something that’s really also insightful too, is that we have to be able to hold those both true of that when someone does something hard and if they mess up or they fail, you’re well pleased in them, but also they need to just hear from the beginning before they’ve done anything that you are well pleased in them. And I think with our children saying that to them beating that drum over and over again before they’ve done anything crazy, anything extravagant, anything that the world says they need to do to gain their identity. You say, “No, you already have an identity as a son, as a daughter, and in that I am well pleased over you and in you.” And I think that’s huge, but what would you add to that?
Jeremy:
Yeah, you guys, so this we can answer the question. What is the most important thing for the heart of your son to hear from his father? We know the answer to this question. The most important thing that a son can ever hear from his father is, “You are my beloved son and in you I am well pleased.” God is the best father who’s ever existed on the face of the earth and this was what he said over his son and he knows what is in the heart of a son and this is what creates a son and father bond. It’s when a father says to his son, “You are the beloved, you are the object of my love and I’m so pleased to be your father.” That just completely puts to rest the angst that every single man feels in their life and most men are really living a story where they are trying to medicate and deal with the damage of the reality that they’ve never heard this from their father.
And so we need to say this over our sons on a regular basis. “You are my son. I love you. I’m so pleased with you.” And I love what Jeff is saying. It’s not something you have to earn. It’s something that you are given by the nature of the fact that you’re my son. And so as you embrace your fatherhood, how you extend the strength of that fatherhood over your sons is that you say to them in a way that their heart can hear that you love them, that they’re the beloved, which means you’re the object of my love. And I am pleased with you. And it’s interesting, I heard this question, Jeff you were describing, “What was going on during this baptism that sort of created this eruption of sort of affection between the father and the son?”
And one of the things that was happening and this was that this is a theory, but I like this theory, it’s interesting to think about, is that Jesus was being baptized, which is kind of weird because Jesus was a God, the son of God, and he was submitting to the prophetic order of John the Baptist, right? John the Baptist was baptizing people, and Jesus gets down there and comes to John. John’s like, “Hey, Whoa. I should be baptized by you. You’re the lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.” Jesus says, “I have to do this for all righteousness to be fulfilled.” And so John submits to the process of being baptized and maybe the humility of Jesus is what created this eruption from the father. His decision to being in very nature, God, humbled himself, become a man and be willing to submit to another man, John the Baptist and his ministry.
I don’t know all the… Obviously it goes in to the dynamic between the father and the son and how the God had worked. It’s a beautiful mystery to ponder, but I think something is going on and I think that, I love it when I see a father watch his son and just say, “That’s my boy. I’m so proud of you. That’s my son. Do you see my son? Do you see what my son is doing?” And I feel like the father at some level was saying, “Look at my son. Look what he’s doing.” I think he was just so overwhelmed with passion for his son and love for his son that the heavens ripped open and the father just declares his love. And I think that’s just a beautiful picture and model for us as dads.