There are Two Totally Different Ways to View Family

Every once in a while, we want to take a big step back and talk about the big picture of what we’re trying to do here, and I was reminded of the big picture when I was reading a quote by Henry Matisse, the French artist, and he said to look at something as though we had never seen it before requires great courage, and one of the things that we are constantly talking to you guys about is that there are two totally different ways to view family. You can view family in the typical Western way. Virtually every single person listening to this probably grew up in a family. Primarily you thought about the family as a group of individuals as opposed to a team, and so this difference is very costly, and a lot of times we don’t talk about … because for some of you, you’re like, “Whoa, that sounds a little bit better. Yeah, maybe instead of having just total individualism, we’ll kind of move a little bit towards team,” but this can really be challenging, because being a team requires a completely different level of intentionality.

It requires a lot of equipping, because every kind of tool that you’re going to run into that really helps build a family in Western societies is based on assuming that you’re leading your family as individuals. Schools are designed that way, churches are designed that way, just about every single endeavor, it pulls people apart into their individual identity and there’s not a lot of places you can go that’s like, “Yeah, why don’t you bring your whole family, all the age groups, and we’re going to grow together. We’re going to go after this mission together.” That’s very unusual in our culture, and so it’s very costly. So when I was looking at this quote, that to look at something as though you’d never seen it before requires great courage, oftentimes what I’ve noticed is that a lot of people that really get it, where they’re suddenly like, “Oh my gosh, what would happen if I started thinking about family as a team?”

It does require them to have a lot of courage, because they’re about to step into the unknown, into trying to build a kind of family that probably you didn’t grow up in, maybe even a kind of a kind of family that you don’t see a lot of people around you having, and so I just wanted to call out you guys, that we get that it takes courage. It’s not easy, and you really have to look at it that way, that you’re in for going upstream, potentially for the rest of your life with your family, and you have to count the cost, and now Jeff and I feel like it’s completely worth it. We’re thinking about our kids, our generations. There’s so much value to be gained by aligning with God’s design for the family as a multi generational team on mission, but it does require a lot of courage. Yeah, Jeff?

Yeah. I mean I would just … nothing to add, but only to reiterate, because I think that’s what we want you to take. You have a whole day ahead of you. Most dads listen to this in the morning. What does it look like to think about the rest of the day and dwell on that thought, that man, you are doing something courageous when you’re stepping out of the Western experiment. You are doing something that takes courage, but when something takes courage, a lot of times there’s fear. A lot of times there is anxiety. A lot of times there is pressure, but the cool part is, man, the Lord completely absolves that. He speaks to that so much in the Gospels, of removing … I mean I think one of the biggest commands in scripture is do not fear, which I think we never talk about. When we hear commands, we always think the 10 commandments, or do this or do that. One of the big commands is do not fear, and he usually says why? Because he’s with you and he’ll never forsake you and he has you, and if it’s God’s design, if it’s God’s plan, then he will carry you to it and he will see you through it. So remind yourself of that today and know that it does take courage, but you’re not doing it alone.

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