When Does Your Family Business Become Your First Priority?

What about when do you actually take a step back and make sure all the family stuff that oftentimes during the week can really go down your priority list? When does it become the first priority? One of the things that we’ve been leaning into as a family is to sort of really think about one day a week as more of our family business day. And so we’ve been leaning into Sunday as that day for our family. We do worship on Sunday evening. And so really Sunday morning, Sunday afternoon, that’s the time when we do our family meeting. And it’s also a time when if there’s anything we need to catch up on, particularly relationally. So if there’s a hard conversation we need to have, or a one-on-one, because there’s some disconnectedness going on in the family, if we need to work on a project, then this is the day where we just say family wins on this day. Family projects are what matters.

Because oftentimes, other days of the week, people are … We got a lot of stuff going on at work. There’s maybe ministry projects or things that take. And so if once a week you know that, hey, whatever is on the top of the priority list for the family, whatever we need to work through, we’ve got the time, we’ve got the space. That’s been really, really healthy and helpful for our family to have that day of the week where this is the day family and what matters to the family always wins. And it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be doing that throughout the rest of the week, but oftentimes there are projects that are just longer. They may take an hour or two hours, and so it’s not practical to think that you can just maybe shove that into your typical weekday, and those can accumulate over time and really wear out your family or create a lot of disconnection. So that’s one of the things that we’ve been really working on, but yeah, Jeff, what are your thoughts on how to do that?

Yeah I agree. We do a Sunday night thing that definitely is kind of … And when you say, where the family wins too, the way we look at that is that nothing else can impede on it from externalities. That we’re not being able to schedule over that, or a lot of things impede that. And of course there’s always exceptions, but in the course of the year, is that clear that that won. And then also one thing I would say too is we don’t just see it as a day, but we also see it as a moment every day. So I would say probably our mornings we’re also hyper protective of, in regards to making sure that we connect, go over the things that are needed, ec. We do this thing called morning time that is a pretty specific ritual with reading and praying and singing and stuff like that, and protecting those, because it’s very easy for the morning to get ran into for me with conference calls and stuff. That’s like a 30 minute window by the way, so stuff like that, we both protect it in that way every day.

But I think, yeah, setting something … I think we go one way or the other. I think a lot of families either go like, “Oh, my family always wins for everything.” And so then there’s no time for anyone, or anything, or any vocation, or any work. Or it’s like, “I never can make a hard choice about winning for my family.” It’s like everyone else wins, all their pressures, all their … It’s like, no no, it’s a little bit of both, with some things where it’s clearly that the family’s that first bullseye circle of the concentric circles. So let it win on certain things that set the tone, that show in the week. And so, yeah, that’s what I would say. But is that what you would say or how you guys mean by that?

Yeah, totally. I think it’s important to make sure that there’s that space, and you’ll know if you’re struggling with this because those projects just week after week after week, they’re just neglected. Or those conversations, they get neglected. So this is something I encourage you guys to do if you sense that starting to happen. That they’re just not … It seems like a whole week, maybe multiple weeks, can go by without addressing this issue, without dealing with that frustrating thing. And that’s when family can start to really become a drag. And so I think to put this in your rhythm is a really healthy practice.

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