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Your Influence Over Your Grandkids May Be Greater Than Your Own Kids

Jeff:
A fun topic for today, and that is this thought or this idea that your influence over your grandkids may be greater than your own kids. So Jeremy, I’m excited to hear what you think, but initially when I read that out loud, what I think of is this idea, that yeah, there’s something about grandchildren that I was saying earlier, they give their ears more to their grandparents than the kids do to the parents. Meaning there’s something about everything a grandparent says to a grandchild, the kid usually sees it as gold, right?

Jeremy:
Yeah.

Jeff:
When it’s you’ll never usually have that tone or attitude from your kids and not even if they love you and listen and all that. So I think that’s an interesting thing, too. There’s something about the dynamic that I wonder if God has ordained that.

Jeremy:
Yes.

Jeff:
That you have a voice of wisdom and influence in your children or I mean your grandkids that is really unique, but I don’t know how would you process this or frame this?

Jeremy:
Yeah, I really think that it’s possible that as your fatherhood gets more and more advanced as you get in, you didn’t know what you were doing with your little kids in your twenties or early thirties, right?

Jeff:
Yeah.

Jeremy:
And so what happens oftentimes is your skill is going up, your wisdom is growing. And so, I think it is, it doesn’t make a lot of sense that potentially your voice for your multigenerational family could actually increase. And a lot of people don’t think about this. There was actually some research done and there’s actually a quote that I find really fascinating where all this research of how grandparents were having a much stronger impact on their grandchildren, and in some cultures than their kids, it was called Hansen’s Law, which is says, “What the son wishes to forget, the grandson wishes to remember.”

And this has happened where you’ve seen a lot of revival amongst Jewish communities, where there’s a sudden explosion of Jewish identity, where there were in an older generation that was really into the practices of Judaism. Their kids really rebelled against it and sort of abandoned those practices. And then suddenly, in a third generation, a huge percentage comes back to those practices. And so this tends to happen. And it’s really interesting. And I think that we need to think about this even more than previous generations, because we’re going to live longer than our grandparents did most likely. They say right now, the average lifespan in the west is increasing four months every year. This never happened. There’s a rapid expansion as we get rid of diseases. And as we learn all kinds of treatments for those illnesses that come in old age, people are living longer and longer.

And so, there’s a really good chance that all you guys listening to this, the average person is going to live five to ten years longer than your grandparents, or maybe even your parents. And in that case, you’re going to see ten years in your 80s or 90s is a massive amount of influence if you’re building a multigenerational family.

Just ten years can mean that you’re going to meet 20 or 30 more descendants than you otherwise would meet. And so, the reason why I want to talk about this, you guys, because a lot of you have young kids is, do not give up on this project. It’s so that you understand that even as you’re struggling and as we’re parenting our kids and really working this through, that our influence actually multiplies and compounds over time. If you start to build a multigenerational team. And so Hansen’s Law, what the son wishes to forget, the grandson of wishes to remember, if you have specific struggles with your kids, definitely we’re talking how to work that out, but man, whatever you do, don’t give up.

Be really sensitive to the opportunities that you have to influence future generations and begin to build in that relationship with your kids, the platform for that influence. But yeah, anything else this stirs up for you, Jeff?

Jeff:
No, I love that. And I was just doing the math in my head when you were talking of, yeah, if I live 60 more years, if I live to 90 from right now, and then it’s four months for every year, that’s like an additional, I don’t know, 25 years or something. That’s crazy.

Jeremy:
Yeah, it keeps going.

Jeff:
So, then technically, would I live to 115? Is that …, but yeah, the science is pointing that way, which is absolutely crazy. And so I think, yeah, that just takes into account of you have influence and you’ll have more time to use that influence. And so, make sure you are using that influence.

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